Our children are growing up in schools filled with neurodiverse learners, and while this gives me hope for normalizing the presence of neurodiversity, inclusive mindsets don’t just appear out of nowhere. We have to explicitly teach our kids about their own brains and the importance of respecting the neurodiversity of their peers in order for inclusive mindsets to extend into their future workplace and community.
Understanding neurodiversity is just as important as teaching our children to embrace the diversity in race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and religion among their peers who are all worthy of love and opportunity in this world. And, celebrating neurodiversity begins with helping children understand their own strengths and needs for support. Once children understand themselves, they begin to realize that everyone has their own constellation of abilities, and when we work together as a group, classroom, or community, we can accomplish things we cannot do alone.
Is it “Neurodiverse” or “Neurodivergent?”
While we are neurodiverse as a population, some of us are neurodivergent. Most people who consider themselves neurodivergent are autistic or have been identified as having ADHD, anxiety, giftedness, learning disabilities, or a combination of these. It’s incredibly important for children and teens to begin understanding their own neurodivergence, especially if academics or social interactions begin to feel difficult for them. We don’t want children to believe they are not working hard enough or that they are less worthy than their peers who can keep up in class or easily make a friend without support. How we advocate as parents for our kids becomes their inner voice as they begin to advocate for themselves.
One of the most frequent questions I get from parents is this: How do I tell my child about their diagnosis? This task feels daunting because no one wants to tell someone that something is “different” about them, especially when that someone is our precious child. You don’t want to hurt them and you don’t want them to ever think they are “less than.” I believe that we, the adults, are actually the ones with the baggage that“different” meaning something negative.
While “different” might mean that something is harder for your child, “different” never means “less than.” So I prefer to not even use the word “diagnosis” and instead focus on abilities and needs for support. We all have abilities and we all have needs, so let’s understand them and support one another.
Below, I take you through what I believe are the top five things to focus on when preparing yourself to talk with your child about their brain. I want you to feel prepared no matter when this conversation pops up for you and your child.
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