"It's May, Hi. I'm the problem, it's May."
If Taylor wrote us a song...
Just a reminder: My on-demand professional development course The Neurodiverse Classroom for PreK-8th grade educators is on sale through June!
Parents, you can gift a teacher this training by entering the teacher’s email at checkout. More info at the link:
As a child psychologist, I have the privilege of listening to the stories of families as they experience the ebb and flow of the seasons.
I am here to report that the month of May is the most attention-getting of them all. And so, on behalf of parents everywhere, May, I have some thoughts for you…
Oh, May,
You are exhausting, overwhelming, and quite ridiculous. Just as we have all survived the sickness of winter and the pollen of spring, here you are ready to change it all up on us. You are filled with “last times” and impending change, raising every neurodivergent child’s anxiety.
You have hit my family hard in the past and yet here you are again. One year we had a child finishing preschool and the another graduating from fifth grade. I remember having one son in bed crying about leaving his teacher because he “just loves her so much” (I know, such a good problem) and another son not even able to sleep because he couldn't stop thinking about graduation and “that sad song” he and his classmates would be singing in front of everyone.
I know, May. You are showing up because we asked you to. We adults think it’s super cute to make an even bigger deal out of these goodbyes with ceremonies. Many children like to celebrate, but some do not. Sometimes, I help families decide if their child will participate in your ceremony this year, or if it’s just too much. Too much change in routine, too many people, or it's just too loud. Maybe next year we will consider you again.
But, as if the ceremonies and graduations were not enough, you throw in your end-of-year parties, field days, and musical performances, sometimes in the middle of the day just to watch us sweat. You do know that many of us are at work, right? We probably should just take the entire month off so that we can tend to you. You change our schedules and throw us off our working-parent game that is a well-oiled machine at this point in the school year. May, routines are the glue holding our family together and you’re coming between us.
Then, just when we're ready to be done with you because you’ve beaten us down with the mayhem of rearranging work schedules, finding childcare for one kid so we can be there for the other kid, you waltz in on celebration day and melt our hearts and the tears start flowing.
Our child, who couldn’t handle the chaos last year, is up on that stage looking so proud of himself! Our youngest is FINALLY going to Kindergarten and we don’t even know how to process life without our sweet preschool. Our kid who has struggled to find his place is sad to miss his classmates this summer. Our child, who has struggled throughout school, is receiving an award, an AWARD! We are so proud of them, and so sad it’s over, yet so happy it’s done.
May, you are just too much. But, we'll see you again next year so we can do it all again. Because showing up in community to celebrate progress is what unites us all. And, that look of pride on my child’s face is worth every challenge you’ve thrown at me.
Sincerely,
Proud and Exhausted Parents Everywhere
I’m Dr. Emily, child psychologist and former school psychologist, and I’m on a mission to help parents and teachers be the best adults we can be for the neurodivergent kids and teens in our lives. This isn’t about changing the kids, it’s about changing us. Learn more with my resources for parents, teachers, and schools at www.learnwithdremily.com.
**All content provided is protected under applicable copyright, patent, trademark, and other proprietary rights. All content is provided for informational and education purposes only. No content is intended to be a substitute for professional medical or psychological diagnosis, advice or treatment. Information provided does not create an agreement for service between Dr. Emily W. King and the recipient. Consult your physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to you or your child's symptoms or medical condition. Children or adults who show signs of dangerous behavior toward themselves and/or others, should be placed immediately under the care of a qualified professional.**