It's May, hi. I'm the problem, it's May.
If Taylor Swift had kids...
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As a child psychologist, I have the privilege of listening to the stories of families as they experience the ebb and flow of the seasons.
However, the month of May is the most attention-getting of all. May is a month of high anxiety for everyone. And so, on behalf of parents everywhere, May, I have some thoughts for you.
Oh, May,
You are exhausting, overwhelming, and quite ridiculous. Just as we have all survived the sicknesses of winter and the pollen of spring, here you are ready to change it all up on us. You are filled with “last times” and impending change, raising every child’s anxiety. You have hit my family hard in the past and yet here you are again. One year we had a child finishing preschool and the another graduating from fifth grade. I remember having one son in bed crying about leaving his teacher because he “just loves her so much” (I know, such a good problem to have) and another son not even able to sleep because he couldn't stop thinking about graduation and “that sad song” he and his classmates will be singing.
I know, May. You are showing up because we asked you to. We adults think it’s super cute to make an even bigger deal out of these goodbyes with ceremonies. Many children like to celebrate, but some do not. I have helped families decide if their child will participate in your ceremonies this year, or if it’s just too much. Too much change in routine, too many people, or it's just too loud. For some, I recommend not even dealing with your ceremonies, May. Maybe next year we will consider you again.
But, as if the ceremonies and graduations were not enough, you throw in your end-of-year parties, field days, and musical performances, sometimes in the middle of the day just to watch us sweat. You do know that many of us have jobs, right? We probably should just take the entire month off from work so that we can deal with you. You change our schedules and throw us off of our working-parent game that is a fine-tuned machine by this point in the school year. May, routines are the glue holding our families together and you’re coming between us.
Then, just when we're ready to be done with you because you’ve beaten us down with the mayhem of rearranging things at work, finding childcare for one kid so we can be there for the other kid, you waltz in on celebration day and melt our hearts while the tears start flowing. Our child, who couldn’t handle the chaos last year, is up on that stage looking so proud of himself! Our youngest is FINALLY going to Kindergarten and we don’t even know how to process life without our sweet preschool. Our child, who has struggled throughout school, is receiving an award, an AWARD! We are so proud of them, and so sad it’s over, yet so happy it’s done.
May, you are just too much. But, we'll see you again next year so we can do it all again. Because the pandemic is over and we can hug our teachers to thank them. Because showing up in community to celebrate progress is important. And, because that moment of pride on my child’s face is worth every challenge you’ve thrown at me.
Sincerely,
Proud and Exhausted Parents Everywhere
I’m Dr. Emily, a child psychologist and former school psychologist, and I’m on a mission to help parents and teachers be the best adults they can be for our neurodivergent kids and teens. This isn’t about changing the kids, it’s about changing us. Learn more with me at www.learnwithdremily.com.
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