The Traumatized States of America
In 1999, I was sitting in an undergraduate religion class when I heard about Columbine. The professor mentioned it in his lecture and because I didn’t have the internet in my pocket back then, I had no idea what he was talking about. The worst thing I had known was the Oklahoma City bombing. I survived my entire K-12 education never considering I could get shot at school. Turns out, that was a privilege.
Twenty-five years later, an entire generation of American children has grown up believing mass shootings are possible at any moment. I know because I work with them.
As a child psychologist, I counsel young children through understanding that drills aren’t the real thing (as if that’s less traumatic for their brain). I teach autistic children the difference between lock-down drills and fire-drills. I talk to middle schoolers who say things like, “Forget hiding. If this happens at my school, I’m running.” I don’t blame them.
Six years after Columbine, I was working as a school psychology intern in a Texas high school with 4,000 students. I was often mistaken for one. I counseled students with complex emotional and behavioral needs. I was trained to assess suicidal and homicidal risk and I used my skills more than once. I had a plan if I needed to hide from a shooter and the thought alone was traumatizing.
All of this and I still loved my job.
As mental health professionals, we do what we do because we might save someone. I will never know if I saved someone in that Texas high school, but the chance that I did was worth the risk. Yes, risk.
Because working in a school is a risk. Being a student is a risk. Living in America is a risk and your brain can feel it. Every. Day.
A few years ago there was a shooting in my hometown. Five dead. The shooter was 15 years old. He shot himself, but survived. A few weeks later the local news printed the words: “The shooter has been moved to the pediatric intensive care unit.” These words should never appear in the same sentence. Children should never become shooters. Nor should they become targets.
Some of our children are growing complacent. But, complacency is just a coping mechanism because their brain cannot emotionally absorb the devastation of children dying at school and knowing it could have been them…and still could be.
And, I do not want to hear about how many schools go without violence every day. That is not the point.
The point is that American children are facing daily life knowing violence is possible, which means their brain is in a constant state of stress.
Every American parent thinks about their child being shot when they drop them off in the carpool line, which means their brain is in a constant state of stress.
Every day that we do nothing to lower the risk of gun violence, our brains continue to live in a perpetual state of stress.
Why are we stuck living this way?
Part of the problem is all of the finger-pointing. It’s not the guns, it’s mental health. It’s not mental health, it's the guns. It’s not either of those, it’s the video games. It’s poor parenting and broken families and on and on.
Newsflash: It’s never ONE of these things. It’s ALL THE THINGS. And when we blame one, we give ourselves permission to ignore the others.
Legislators have been placing blame on their one favorite explanation for gun violence since the Clinton administration, which also happens to be my entire voting life.
I am so tired of talking about this, but I will keep going. Why?
Because no child can learn and no teacher can teach if their nervous system is in a constant state of potential threat. Not fixing this issue is harming the mental health of our nation.
If you’re wondering what it feels like to have worked in American schools and not be able to get others to understand what I’m talking about here, just watch this clip of Congressman Jamaal Bowman (D-NY), who is a former middle school principal.
And, yes, I understand responsible gun ownership. I live in the American south where hunting is a favorite sport for many. But, if you’re not willing to jump through some extra hoops for the safety and mental health of our children, educators, and your fellow citizens, then you are part of the problem. Because…
It’s about automatic weapons AND
It’s about mental health AND
It’s about school security AND
It’s about background checks AND
It’s about firearm safety training AND…
Not ONE of these things. ALL of these things. And whatever other ideas you have. I don’t care what thing you pick to advocate for, just pick one.
Finger-pointing breeds complacency and complacency will push us farther from safety. We no longer have the privilege to pick just one issue while dismissing the others. It’s all hands on deck. NOW.
Let’s Stay Connected,
~Dr. Emily
I’m Dr. Emily, a child psychologist and former school psychologist, and I’m on a mission to help you be the best parent you can be for your neurodivergent child. If you want more tips like these as well as learn more about raising your neurodivergent child, be sure to subscribe and see all my resources for parents and teachers at www.learnwithdremily.com.
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It really is heartbreaking