Too Many Therapies? Is there such a thing?
5 Ways to Tell
When a child is diagnosed with autism, ADHD, or anxiety, parents can feel both overwhelmed by the reality of the diagnosis and relieved to have a plan. Yet sometimes the plan is also overwhelming.
Professionals are trained in one area and make recommendations in that area. Put all those recommendations together, and parents might be faced with play therapy, speech and language therapy, occupational therapy, behavioral therapy, physical therapy, medication management, vision therapy, social skills group, academic tutoring, or a combination of any of these.
But, just like neurotypical children can be over-scheduled with sports practice or music lessons, children in need of developmental therapies can also be over-scheduled, too.
So, how do we prioritize one therapy over another?
Many parents I work with feel they are failing their children by doing fewer therapies than recommended by the experts. Let me reassure you: There is a zone of learning for all of us, and our children are no exception. Yes, too few therapies may lead to a child not progressing as fast as they could with these therapies; however, too many therapies can cause children to become anxious or fatigue easily which could lead to shut down, resisting appointments, and not being available for learning.
There is a middle ground to find here where optimal learning takes place. So, if you’re concerned that you might be asking too much of your child, consider these questions:
1. Is my child’s progress in therapy stalling?
Of course we want our children to make progress quickly, but more therapy won’t always lead to faster progress. Too many therapies is similar to over-scheduling children without disabilities with too many sports practices, music lessons, and scout meetings. Having a child in extra-curriculars every day after school in addition to homework, friends, and family events can be stressful and exhausting, which squashes growth. We all reach a point where we are too overwhelmed to learn. For neurodivergent children who tend to be more sensitive, their developmental progress may stall because their brain is working so hard to manage the anxiety surrounding the sensory needs, fatigue, and hunger they feel on a daily basis. It’s time to prioritize rest and connection, and then the work of therapy will come.
2. Is my child resisting going to therapy?
If your child won’t join the therapist or won’t even get out of the car after they have enjoyed therapy before, they may be experiencing higher anxiety for some reason, be very tired at that time of day, or the skills they are working on are too hard for them. Your therapist can guide you in figuring out what’s going on and adapting to help your child feel less anxious and more available for learning.
We also need to be careful about forcing children to go to therapy. While young children may not remember their experiences playing in a OT gym as “therapy,” school-age children and teens will remember their experiences. We don’t want them to form negative memories of being “forced” to go to therapy only to grow up not liking the idea of therapy and as a result not reach out for help when needed. We can all benefit from therapy at some point in our life.
3. Are you or other family members overly-stressed due to the therapy schedule?
This is a tough one to define because the entire experience of having a child in multiple therapies can be stressful. And, everyone’s stress tolerance is variable. Yet, there could come a time when the logistics of therapy appointments are stressing parents to the point that it impacts their relationship with their child. Always prioritize relationships, because without them, no learning is possible. So we have to find a balance between making progress in therapy and maintaining a trusting parent-child connection, because that is part of your child’s progress, too!
4. Do you notice a decrease in anxiety over summer and holiday breaks?
Every summer, when school is out, many parents I work with begin to see their child’s anxiety lift. School is very stressful for many neurodivergent children. The sensory overload, the task demands, and the social expectations keep children’s stress level high most days during the school year. Summer is a reprieve, like someone has loosened the pressure valve and kids can have fun, without long days of expectations to keep up, and without the homework.
If you see your child make developmental gains over the summer due to fewer activities, take notice. Prioritize which therapies your child is making the most progress in and stick with those come fall. Some families even add a therapy in the summer because their child can handle more without the demands of school.
5. It's OK to Take a Break!
Talk to your child’s therapist about the goals they are currently working on and your child’s progress. Your child’s therapist will have an opinion about this and help you make this decision.
On occasion, a child takes a break from seeing me in play therapy to focus on body regulation and attention span in occupational therapy. Once these skills improve, we continue therapy to greater success. There are also times I see a child reach social goals in play therapy with me and it is time to move on to a group setting to practice their skills with other children. Parents and therapists can monitor a child’s progress and make changes at any time.
Therapy is hard work for your child (and for you), so paying attention to the stress level within different seasons of life can be helpful. Ultimately, your child’s stamina, happiness, and forward-moving progress are you guides for making these decisions.
Let’s Stay Connected!
~Dr. Emily
Learn more about Dr. Emily’s update to her online course Parenting On Your Own Path coming in early 2023. Join the waitlist here: www.learnwithdremily.com/parents
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