Rethinking Homework for Neurodivergent Students

I’m just going to say it: Homework is a thorn in the side for parents raising neurodivergent kids. In case you haven’t experienced it, let me explain:

You wake up in the morning ready to implement your well-crafted morning routine that includes the most efficient way to get your child clothed, fed, packed up, and in the car with the fewest moments of frustration, tears, and conflict as possible. Because school is hard for your child, making it through the morning routine and into the school building is your child’s first triumph of the day.

During the school day, your child is faced with challenging tasks. There will be spoken language to process, pencils to grip, a body to keep still, transitions to initiate, social interactions to understand, and non-preferred work to complete. Your child will be exhausted when they get back to you at pick-up. This is understandable. They have just “left it all on the field” of the classroom. They need time to recover, to engage in preferred play, and to rest and reconnect with you. But before they can rest, some days your child will have a therapy appointment to work on emotional regulation, language skills, motor skills, or sensory needs.

Finally, you’re home. And, there is homework. Your child does not yet work independently so you are now their teacher, except you don’t have a degree in special education. Not only do you not know how to teach your exhausted child, you are also trying to cook dinner, coordinate carpool for your other child, and return a work call because you left work early to be home with your child after school. You are exhausted.

So, why are we giving homework to our most worn-out students? There are many costs, but are there any benefits? I think there can be, if we first determine a student’s readiness for homework and we plan to support them.

Here’s how:

The Need For Play

Some schools in America have begun to do away with assigning homework before fifth grade due to the developmental need for play and movement. Elementary-aged children are still learning through play and need time for unstructured play or structured arts, music, or sports time after school. A school days-worth of academic learning is enough at this age and young children need time outside to move their bodies, free time to recover from the demands sitting and focusing most of the day, and quiet time to be alone with their thoughts or connect with their family.

Prior to being developmentally ready for independent work, the only homework that I believe should be assigned is nightly reading with a parent, adult family member, or older sibling. Reading with someone builds connection, imagination, attention span, and social comprehension skills that create feelings of security and confidence, which both lead to a love of learning.

Why Neurodivergent Children May Not Be Homework-Ready at the Same Time as Their Peers

For children with anxiety surrounding academic work due to a learning disability, attention difficulties, or working in groups, they are often exhausted from the school day. Talk to any parent of an autistic child and they will tell you that their child’s optimal time for focusing and learning is not 4:00-6:00 pm, much less 7:00-9:00 pm. Talk to any parent of a child with ADHD and they will tell you that their child needs to move their body as much as possible in the hopes of sleeping well at night. If a child is fighting and refusing during homework time, there is a reason. We must pay attention to these patterns of emotional distress, figure out the cost and benefit of homework, and collaborate on a plan for the most supportive learning experience, either in the classroom or at home.

So, When Are Students Ready For Homework?

The benefit of homework is in the extra practice that leads to the mastery of a concept, either academic or organizational, and higher confidence of that skill when the student returns to school the following day. In order to do homework independently, students must have solid-ish executive functioning.

During the elementary years, it’s expected for parents to help their child with homework. Children’s attention spans and fine motor skills are still developing so they all need support to remain seated and complete work. (Herein lies the argument for no homework at all until a child’s ability to sit, focus, and write are independent.) While homework is given in the elementary years to master reading, writing, and math skills, homework for fourth/fifth graders and beyond should focus on executive functioning skills.

Our executive functioning encompasses our planning, organizing, initiating, attending, shifting focus, and our execution of tasks. We need these skills to turn our ideas into plans and actions. Our executive functioning center, located on the frontal lobe of our brain, does not fully develop until our mid-twenties. When we assign homework to pre-teens and teenagers without also teaching them how to organize and execute the work, we are doing them a huge disservice.

Most children shift from needing a parent to sit down with them to complete homework to completing it on their own sometime between third and fifth grade. However, children with learning disabilities, ADHD, anxiety, and/or autism—basically any learning difference impacting executive functioning skills—may not able to work independently for several more years. Children are ready for homework when they can complete at least some of it on their own so we don’t leave them feeling defeated.

A Warning About Middle School

Many neurodivergent students are not yet independent with homework by middle school, yet middle schools expect them to be. When the middle school load of homework increases before a child’s ability to work independently, we are met with frustration from the child and their parents.

What Can Parents Do?

It’s better to reduce the amount of work so your child can practice being independent rather than helping our child get all the work done.

Try asking your child’s IEP team for modified homework where teachers can assign the amount of homework they know the student is capable of completing independently.

More challenging tasks that could help the student grow, such as long-term projects and reports, can be assigned with the student’s need for support in mind, such as graphics, organizers, or shorter deadlines on small portions of a project to teach time management.

Teach a Work/Life Balance

Because I went to graduate school directly after college, homework was a constant part of my life until my mid-twenties. I remember the relief I felt when I didn’t have homework anymore. Now I go out of my way to plan healthy boundaries in my own work so that I don’t bring work home.

Shouldn’t we be teaching children how to have healthy boundaries around work and play? Shouldn’t we be teaching them how to balance work completion and time with family and friends? All children would benefit from these lessons; however, neurodivergent children are the most vulnerable to the costs that comes with an out of whack work/life balance and their discomfort is demanding we change the system for them.

When homework is assigned in a certain quantity that is that same for everyone, we ignore the fact that each student has a different amount of gas in their tank at the end of the school day. When we ask students to keep working after school when their tank is on empty, we likely damage their love of learning and fill them with dread for tomorrow.

If you feel the way homework is structured is harming your child’s love of learning or your relationship with them, you might be right. Talk with your child’s teacher to come up with a solution.

Let’s Stay Connected!

~Dr. Emily

I’m Dr. Emily, child psychologist and former school psychologist, and I’m on a mission to help parents and teachers be the best adults we can be for the neurodivergent kids and teens in our lives. This isn’t about changing the kids, it’s about changing us. Learn more with my resources for parents, teachers, and schools at www.learnwithdremily.com.

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