What Parents Mean When They Say Someone "Gets It"
If you have ever had a conversation with a fellow parent raising a neurodivergent child, you have either said this phrase or you have heard this phrase. It usually goes something like this, “We are so grateful for our son’s teacher this year. She really gets it.” Or, “We are getting together with extended family over the holidays and it’s always tough. They don’t get it.”
Parents raising children identified as autistic or ADHD, which often comes with anxiety, sensory processing, and learning differences immediately know what this phrase means. It truly is the fastest way to sum things up between parents who really don’t have time to go into detail about crowds, clothes, and unpredictable schedules.
So what exactly does it mean to say someone “gets it?”
It means a teacher who sees ripped paper and assumes frustration and not intentional destruction of property.
It means a school administrator who hears profanity but sees an overwhelmed and frustrated child, not a rude one.
It means a soccer coach who sees a meltdown about socks and shin guards and patiently understands the need for more time to process the feeling of sweaty, itchy soccer gear.
It means a piano teacher who understands when you show up for lessons but your child cannot get out of the car due to the routine being different that day.
It means a religious leader who allows your child to sit with you to sing instead of insisting they stand up in front with the group.
It means a grandparent who sees you not picking battles about food so that your child can be nourished today.
It means a grown-up who listens to your child talk about the details of space travel and notices how it lights up their face.
It means a friend of yours who finds a quiet spot at the party and hangs back with you while your child plays.
It means a teacher who celebrates and shares with excitement that your child asked for help after months of not being able to speak up in class.
It means a therapist who knows aggression is a stress response leading to emotional dysregulation and the goal is to help a child feel connected, safe, and then learn skills.
It means a teacher who sees your child's strengths AND your child's needs for support and believes that, yes, these vastly different abilities can indeed exist within the same child.
It means someone sees your child beyond the behavior that may cause other adults to feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed. They get it. And, they are now a part of your village.
Pass this on to anyone who needs to read this today.
Let’s Stay Connected!
~Dr. Emily
I’m Dr. Emily, child psychologist and former school psychologist, and I’m on a mission to help parents and teachers be the best adults we can be for the neurodivergent kids and teens in our lives. This isn’t about changing the kids, it’s about changing us. Learn more with my resources for parents, teachers, and schools at www.learnwithdremily.com.
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