Why School is Hard for Neurodivergent Students
As a girl growing up in North Carolina, I always wanted to be a teacher. My mom was a teacher, my aunt was a teacher, and I just really loved the structure of school. School supplies gave me a thrill and as long as I had an organized pencil box and my Trapper Keeper was in order, life was good. I loved school so much that after college I entered graduate school to pursue a Ph.D. in School Psychology.
At some point along the way, my passion evolved from teaching English to helping those who struggle to learn within our traditional education system, especially when it comes to figuring out where behavior comes from and how it interferes with learning. (You can read more about what school was like for me here.)
I’ve also come to understand schools from all angles. I’ve sat on all sides of the IEP table as a school psychologist, parent, and private psychologist collaborating with my client’s school team. I’ve watched student needs evolve over the last 20 years while our education system has largely remained the same.
For many neurodivergent students, school is the hardest part of their life. For some, school is a traumatic experience filled with too much noise, too little interest, and not enough people who “get them.” I’m on a mission to change that.
So why is this so hard?
It’s hard because we are trying to teach an increasingly neurodiverse generation of learners within a standardized system of expectations. What we really need is a system that flexes with the neurodiverse needs of our children. But systems take time to change because systems can’t change without first changing mindsets. The good news is that we actually don’t have to wait for the “system” to change, because we are the system.
All systems are made up of people, and collaborative relationships among its people, who are able to create change. So, let’s change the system from the inside-out as we understand, nurture, and celebrate all learners, not just the ones who fit the mold.
This isn’t about changing the child. It’s about changing us.
How Did We Get Here?
Over the years, more and more students are being educated in the “least restrictive environment” of the general education classroom and while this is a good thing for social-emotional progress, we risk students being faced with expectations too high in some areas which can lead to stress responses otherwise known as negative classroom behavior.
Many teachers tell me they don’t know how to support neurodivergent student behaviors. Elementary educators may have received one course in “classroom management” in their education program and that felt sufficient at the time. Now they realize every student may need something different to access the standardized curriculum and they feel they nearly have to become a magician with a degree in child psychology to support everyone.
Shifting Our Mindset
I have talked with so many educators who are ready to shift their mindset from managing classroom behavior to preventing overwhelm by better understanding and connecting with students. Teachers who feel confident and connected create classrooms of confident and connected students.
Here’s what teachers tell me they want:
To better understand the complex learning needs of neurodivergent learners to help them access the standardized curriculum
To feel more competent in the emotional and mental health needs of neurodivergent students so they can support a concern before it turns into a negative behavior
To feel more confident in recognizing and responding to their own stress so they can model emotional regulation for their students
To better understand why neurodivergent learners struggle with transitions, avoid getting started, or engage in power struggles and how to prevent these stressful moments
To better establish trust and foster belonging in neurodivergent learners so that they can take ownership of their growth
To create an inclusive classroom that is the safest place for neurodivergent learners to ask for help, take risks, and thrive
To feel confident in collaborating with parents of neurodivergent learners to better help students reach their goals
I want teachers to know they have the power to make school better for neurodivergent learners by strengthening their understanding, nurturing connection, and fostering engagement one student at a time.
**You can gift an educator this training by entering their email address at checkout.**
Because every classroom is already a neurodiverse classroom, my professional development trainings are for all educators: general education teachers, special education teachers, administrators, school psychologists, occupational therapists, speech/language pathologists, and school counselors.
If you are in the room problem solving how to help K-12 students access their education, you are in the right place.
Let’s Stay Connected!
~Dr. Emily
I’m Dr. Emily, child psychologist and former school psychologist, and I’m on a mission to help parents and teachers be the best adults we can be for the neurodivergent kids and teens in our lives. This isn’t about changing the kids, it’s about changing us. Learn more with my resources for parents, teachers, and schools at www.learnwithdremily.com.
**All content provided is protected under applicable copyright, patent, trademark, and other proprietary rights. All content is provided for informational and education purposes only. No content is intended to be a substitute for professional medical or psychological diagnosis, advice or treatment. Information provided does not create an agreement for service between Dr. Emily W. King and the recipient. Consult your physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to you or your child's symptoms or medical condition. Children or adults who show signs of dangerous behavior toward themselves and/or others, should be placed immediately under the care of a qualified professional.**
"...For some, school is a traumatic experience filled with too much noise, too little interest, and not enough people who “get them.”
This was my experience throughout my education, and continues to be true in my adult life. I believe that all humans are neurodiverse and I work to create solutions in my high school programmes to empower individual expression. If nature's strategy is biodiversity, why do we persist with standardisation in education? Thank you for sharing your work. It's encouraging to hear about others who are working in this space.
Love everything about this, Emily!