Why School is Hard for Neurodivergent Students
As a girl growing up in North Carolina, I always wanted to be a teacher. My mom was a teacher, my aunt was a teacher, and I just really loved the structure of school. School supplies gave me a thrill and as long as I had an organized pencil box and my Trapper Keeper was in order, life was good. I loved school so much that after college I immediately entered graduate school to pursue a Ph.D. in School Psychology.
At some point along the way, my passion evolved from teaching English to helping those who struggle to learn within our traditional education system, especially when it comes to figuring out where behavior comes from and how it interferes with learning.
I’ve also come to understand schools from all angles. I’ve sat on all sides of the IEP table as a school psychologist, as a parent, and as a private psychologist collaborating with my client’s school team. I’ve watched student needs evolve over the last 20 years while our education system has largely remained the same.
For many neurodivergent students, school is the hardest part of their life. For some, school is a traumatic experience filled with too much noise, too little interest, and not enough people who “get them.” I’m on a mission to change that.
So why is this so hard?
It’s hard because we are trying to teach an increasingly neurodiverse generation of learners within a standardized system of expectations. What we really need is a system that flexes with the neurodiverse needs of our children. But systems take time to change because systems can’t change without first changing mindsets. The good news is that we actually don’t have to wait for the “system” to change, because we are the system.
All systems are made up of people, and collaborative relationships among its people, who are able to create change. So, let’s change the system from the bottom-up as we understand, nurture, and celebrate all learners, not just the ones who fit the mold. This isn’t about changing the child. It’s about changing us.
How Did We Get Here?
Over the years, more and more students are being educated in the “least restrictive environment” of the general education classroom and while this is a good thing for social-emotional progress, we risk students being faced with expectations too high in some areas which can lead to stress responses otherwise known as negative classroom behavior.
Many teachers tell me they don’t know how to support these student behaviors. Elementary educators may have received one course in “classroom management” in their education program and that felt sufficient at the time. But now they understand that every single student needs something different to access the standardized curriculum and they feel they nearly have to become a magician with a degree in child psychology to help support students.
Shifting Our Mindset
I have talked with so many educators who are ready to shift their mindset from managing classroom behavior to better understanding and connecting with students. Teachers who feel confident and connected to the purpose of their work create classrooms of confident and connected students.
Here’s what teachers tell me they want:
To better understand the complex learning needs of all students to help them access the standardized curriculum on their own terms
To feel more competent in the emotional and mental health needs of students to identify and support a concern before it turns into a behavior that impacts learning
To feel more confident in recognizing and responding to their own stress so they can model emotional regulation for their students
To better understand why a student struggles with transitions or engages in power struggles and how to not only respond but to prevent these stressful moments from happening in the first place
To know how to establish trust and foster belonging in students so that they can take ownership of their learning regardless of a student’s strengths and needs for support
To know how to create an inclusive classroom that is the safest place for students to ask for help, take risks, and thrive in their learning journey
To feel confident in collaborating with parents to better understand student needs to help them reach their goals
I want teachers to know they have the power to make school better for neurodivergent students by strengthening their understanding, nurturing connection, and fostering engagement one student at a time.
Because every classroom is already a neurodiverse classroom, the resources and professional development trainings I provide are for all educators: general education teachers, special education teachers, elementary school administrators, as well as elementary school psychologists, occupational therapists, speech/language pathologists, and counselors. If you are in the room problem solving how to help K-12 students access their education, you are in the right place.
Let’s Stay Connected!
~Dr. Emily
I’m Dr. Emily, child psychologist and former school psychologist, and I’m on a mission to help parents and teachers be the best adults we can be for the neurodivergent kids and teens in our lives. This isn’t about changing the kids, it’s about changing us. Learn more with my resources for parents, teachers, and schools at www.learnwithdremily.com.
**All content provided is protected under applicable copyright, patent, trademark, and other proprietary rights. All content is provided for informational and education purposes only. No content is intended to be a substitute for professional medical or psychological diagnosis, advice or treatment. Information provided does not create an agreement for service between Dr. Emily W. King and the recipient. Consult your physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to you or your child's symptoms or medical condition. Children or adults who show signs of dangerous behavior toward themselves and/or others, should be placed immediately under the care of a qualified professional.**
I wholeheartedly agree with your overall framing of this as a problem that arises from education systems, rather than children. One question: I’m curious about your description of students being an “increasingly neurodiverse generation of learners.” Is neurodivergence among children actually increasing? Or is the identification of neurodivergent children improving? In the book ‘Neurotribes’ this ‘increase’ is challenged as reflective of better identification, not actually more neurodivergent individuals.