I have an autistic teen Struggling with waking independently (alarms are anxiety provoking), teeth brushing (sensory challenge), and ordering at a restaurant (even one we go to almost weekly and they have the same meal).
Thank you - the time management and planning for homework assignments were especially helpful to think about differently.
My friend and I were just discussing independence last night as we’ve been putting off sending our kids to overnight (Sunday through Friday) church camp for the uncertainty/fear of some of the things you included here - will they shower being one of them. They are 4th soon to be 5th graders, and we were talking about how best to help them prep for this experience, lessen anxiety, have fun, make new friends, etc.
We feel like this is the year since it will be the last elementary school camp before moving up to middle school and know they will love this childhood experience - there just might be some bumps. Thoughts on that or going to camp in general?
Phenomenal advice, especially your fifth point - when ND children need support, the confidence to ask can be such a barrier. Loved every point here and will be sharing with my colleagues ❤️
The way that you present the independence before flexibility framework makes this very accessible. I find it very challenging to get a good sense of how one of mine handles friendships. For instance, their middle school is doing a candy gram fundraiser, and she only wanted to send candy grams to her teachers and I found myself jumping ahead and thinking, "Well what if one of your friends is disappointed if they don't get one?" But you are right where she did it independently and in a way where she could feel proud of herself, and those are the things that are important.
That’s a great example! We don’t want to minimize her experiencing the process of giving the candy gram to her teacher just because others are giving to peers. Keeping her engaged is the goal so she can have more social experiences.💙
Thank you for this. It really opens my eyes as to how I can work with my son (who just had his first haircut) to appreciate grooming because it physically feels better to have fewer tangles. I will definitely share with the rest of his village about how independence comes before flexibility. Pediatric shakes, you're next!
Your advice for independence before flexibility is really useful. Still struggling to get my son to write in his school agenda (his EA does it for him). I have posted a simple morning checklist in his bathroom and a weather chart to inform him how to choose the right clothes for the weather. I want to take myself out of the equation as much as possible, but the hard part is getting him to look at the checklists.
Glad to have found your Substack! I'm looking forward to reading more.
Thank you for this.
Of course! I’m glad you found it helpful.
I have an autistic teen Struggling with waking independently (alarms are anxiety provoking), teeth brushing (sensory challenge), and ordering at a restaurant (even one we go to almost weekly and they have the same meal).
Thank you - the time management and planning for homework assignments were especially helpful to think about differently.
My friend and I were just discussing independence last night as we’ve been putting off sending our kids to overnight (Sunday through Friday) church camp for the uncertainty/fear of some of the things you included here - will they shower being one of them. They are 4th soon to be 5th graders, and we were talking about how best to help them prep for this experience, lessen anxiety, have fun, make new friends, etc.
We feel like this is the year since it will be the last elementary school camp before moving up to middle school and know they will love this childhood experience - there just might be some bumps. Thoughts on that or going to camp in general?
I have a blog post about that! But, in general, if they come home dirty and stinky but happy that’s worth it.
https://open.substack.com/pub/learnwithdremily/p/the-awesome-benefits-of-summer-camp?r=1a6jof&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Phenomenal advice, especially your fifth point - when ND children need support, the confidence to ask can be such a barrier. Loved every point here and will be sharing with my colleagues ❤️
Thank you! I’m so glad you found this helpful.💙
The way that you present the independence before flexibility framework makes this very accessible. I find it very challenging to get a good sense of how one of mine handles friendships. For instance, their middle school is doing a candy gram fundraiser, and she only wanted to send candy grams to her teachers and I found myself jumping ahead and thinking, "Well what if one of your friends is disappointed if they don't get one?" But you are right where she did it independently and in a way where she could feel proud of herself, and those are the things that are important.
That’s a great example! We don’t want to minimize her experiencing the process of giving the candy gram to her teacher just because others are giving to peers. Keeping her engaged is the goal so she can have more social experiences.💙
Thank you for this. It really opens my eyes as to how I can work with my son (who just had his first haircut) to appreciate grooming because it physically feels better to have fewer tangles. I will definitely share with the rest of his village about how independence comes before flexibility. Pediatric shakes, you're next!
I’m so glad you found this helpful💙
P.S. Share in the comments where you are stuck in helping your child be more independent.
Your advice for independence before flexibility is really useful. Still struggling to get my son to write in his school agenda (his EA does it for him). I have posted a simple morning checklist in his bathroom and a weather chart to inform him how to choose the right clothes for the weather. I want to take myself out of the equation as much as possible, but the hard part is getting him to look at the checklists.
Glad to have found your Substack! I'm looking forward to reading more.
I’m glad you found me, too! Welcome!