When I talk to parents and teachers of neurodivergent kids and teens, especially those raising and teaching autistic children, I often hear, “I can’t figure out what motivates her,” or “They only care about video games” or even, “I can’t get him to care about anything.”
I had to stop reading a couple of times because I had weird “did I write this” moments. My son was equally obsessed with Angry Birds, and I made him a Chewbacca costume from Star Wars Angry Birds, and we used the Angry Birds Hot Wheels cars (IYKYK) to get him to the beach! We even wrote to Rovio to suggest a new character for AB transformers, and they wrote back a lovely note with stickers and toys. I also have very strong opinions of the Angry Birds movie. The rest of what you wrote is also quite relevant (surprise, surprise!) but I had to comment because I haven’t found someone whose child was as equally obsessed with AB as ours.
Haha! Amazing! Look at Substack bringing us together. We had every single AB toys that was ever created—blocks, slingshots, birds, etc.—and I don’t even think they make them anymore. They’re all in my therapy playroom and kids love them!
"All kids care, but some relinquish their effort because the learning doesn’t feel attainable to them. In other words, it’s easier to “not care” than to continue trying and failing."
Please make a t-shirt!
My son was being disruptive and silly in a particular class all second semester of freshman year of HS...
I found out he hadn't been understanding fundamental parts of the material. I also found out that the afterschool tutoring provided was too crowded, and one of the motivations (chips and candy) had disappeared without explanation.
Unfortunately he didn't tell me any of this until the very last day. I'm torn between letting him sort things out and fail so he can learn while still at home, and staying more involved because I am the only one with the perspective to know him well enough to explain: silly = I don't get it.
It’s counter-intuitive for a seemingly positive emotion (silly) to be seen as a yellow-flag, but sometimes silly is avoidance, especially when paired with a lack of confidence or a skill/class that has always been tough for a kid. That balance of when to support and when to let them figure it out all depends on whether or not they have the skills to figure it out. I hope that helps!
"I've never met a kid who doesn't have interests... not interested in faking being interested."
Well done. Excellent essay.
Thank you. 😊
I had to stop reading a couple of times because I had weird “did I write this” moments. My son was equally obsessed with Angry Birds, and I made him a Chewbacca costume from Star Wars Angry Birds, and we used the Angry Birds Hot Wheels cars (IYKYK) to get him to the beach! We even wrote to Rovio to suggest a new character for AB transformers, and they wrote back a lovely note with stickers and toys. I also have very strong opinions of the Angry Birds movie. The rest of what you wrote is also quite relevant (surprise, surprise!) but I had to comment because I haven’t found someone whose child was as equally obsessed with AB as ours.
Haha! Amazing! Look at Substack bringing us together. We had every single AB toys that was ever created—blocks, slingshots, birds, etc.—and I don’t even think they make them anymore. They’re all in my therapy playroom and kids love them!
"All kids care, but some relinquish their effort because the learning doesn’t feel attainable to them. In other words, it’s easier to “not care” than to continue trying and failing."
Please make a t-shirt!
My son was being disruptive and silly in a particular class all second semester of freshman year of HS...
I found out he hadn't been understanding fundamental parts of the material. I also found out that the afterschool tutoring provided was too crowded, and one of the motivations (chips and candy) had disappeared without explanation.
Unfortunately he didn't tell me any of this until the very last day. I'm torn between letting him sort things out and fail so he can learn while still at home, and staying more involved because I am the only one with the perspective to know him well enough to explain: silly = I don't get it.
It’s counter-intuitive for a seemingly positive emotion (silly) to be seen as a yellow-flag, but sometimes silly is avoidance, especially when paired with a lack of confidence or a skill/class that has always been tough for a kid. That balance of when to support and when to let them figure it out all depends on whether or not they have the skills to figure it out. I hope that helps!
All excellent points about the role of parent as guide!